What If You Loved Someone as Much as You Want to be Loved?

The thought struck me late last night after watching the 2015 Cinderella movie for the second time. It is a heart moving story in many ways, and I was impressed with the way the producers captured the themes of forgiveness, kindness, and courage. But I was also impressed with a theme that was acted out throughout the movie, but never spoken. To truly love someone as much as you want to be loved, even when they don't deserve it. Several times throughout the movie Cinderella is seen doing the right thing when all the people around her are not. She is seen holding her peace when others are fighting, and refraining from blaming others even when there was reason to do so.



As I went to bed last night the thought kept coming to my mind. What if I loved someone as much as I want to be loved, even if they don't deserve it? What if I sacrificed without hope for reward, and what if I truly lived with the needs of others in my focus instead of my own? What would change? Would life be different for me? Would it be better?

I think it would. I know for myself, the challenges and struggles I face would be almost eliminated if I was to truly live with others in my perspective instead of myself. I would come face to face with my heart, and I would see that true value is created not when I get, but when I give. True love is being willing to sacrifice without hope for gain.

So many times I think we look to people to provide us love and acceptance which we have never been able to provide to someone else. For example, many people dream about and hope for a future spouse to meet their needs, and love them unconditionally. But how many of us dream about loving someone else unconditionally, and sacrificing so that they can experience the same depth of love we hope to receive?

Maybe the reason we have yet to find that love and acceptance which we so desire is because we have been looking for it in the wrong place. Maybe instead of searching for someone to meet our needs, we need to search for needs we can meet, and maybe instead of waiting for someone to come along and love us unconditionally, we need to love the people that come along in our lives…. unconditionally. Maybe…. just maybe that is when we will truly experience the love we desire to receive.

God has given us a great gift in Jesus, His Son. He is our only source of true love, and even though most of us know that, and have come to experience the blessed hope we have in His love, we still look for people to meet our earthly needs. We look for "Cinderella's" and "Prince Charmings" to come along, and offer us a hand, to walk beside us in the journey of life, and to always know just the right thing to do, and the right words to say. But with God's help, I submit to you that we can stop looking for other people to meet our needs, and we can start becoming the people that meet needs. And as a result, instead of searching for "Prince Charmings" and "Cinderella's" we will start  becoming them for other people.

Matthew 25:40 "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."

So what's your opinion? What would change if you truly loved others as much as you want to be loved? What do you wish someone would come along and do for you?

Leave a comment….Let's start the Conversation.

10 comments:

  1. Thanks so much for writing and sharing this convicting and encouraging post. It really gave me a new perspective on loving others. I like what you mentioned about when we are so focused on meeting other people's needs and loving them the way we want to be loved, our self centered focus is changed. I want to live like that! I pray the Lord will help me be a person that cares more about the needs of others than my own. I have a long way to go! But, praise the Lord that He doesn't leave us to become more like Jesus on our own . . .He is with us every step of the way.
    Elanee, from the time I met you, you have been a true example of someone who cares more for the needs and concerns of others more than yourself. You are one of the most loving, caring and thoughtful friends I have ever had. You bless the lives of all who know you with your genuine love for the Lord and because of that, genuine love for others. You are a "Cinderella" already! :) I thank the Lord for you. May He continue to bless you as your seek to serve Him and love others so faithfully!

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    1. Thank you SO much for your comment Valerie. I'm blessed to know that this encourgaed you. I agree with you about our focus needing to change, and we have God's help to do so. What a blessing!

      Thank you for your encorugament as well. I can say the same for you and your sisters. You all have such hearts of kindness and service, it is evident that God is using you for His glory. I look forward to seeing how He will continue to use your lives for His glory.

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  2. I love this, Elanee. I've been thinking somewhat along these lines recently, but you drove the point home hard here. It's easy for me to think others should love and befriend me as who I am, but when I think about it, I'm not doing the same for them.
    I think that my perspective would be totally changed by really loving others unconditionally. By definition alone, unconditional love means forgetting about what you're going to receive and just pouring yourself out for that person!! And that's hard to do. Your whole MINDSET has to change, and we get a glimpse of the way Jesus loves us!
    I have plenty of friends that just seem to need constant loving, and don't seem to do much loving in return, and the Lord's been convicting me that I need to stop pitying myself or thinking I'm such a great person because I'm being nice to such and such all the time. It's a lot more difficult than I expected, that's for sure. Anyway, thank you for writing this. It's helping me :)

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    1. Thank you SO much for this comment Hannah! It was a blessing to read. I love your thoughts on changing our mindset. It is so true. We really need to change our focus, and see things from other's perspectives. I really appreciate your humility about this. May God bless you by giving you the desires of your heart in this area.

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  3. This is wonderful Elanee! I thoroughly enjoyed this, and thought this was very encouraging and so true. Keep writing!

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    1. Shamber,

      Thank you SO mcuh for your comment:) I'm very glad this encourgaed you. May God bless you today:)

      Elanee

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  4. I completely agree. This is something I've been thinking about a lot recently, and I'm realizing just how much I focus on what I can get out of a relationship (any relationship), instead of what I can give. I need to be that person I want someone else to be for me. Most of all, it is in those relationships where I feel like I'm not gaining anything, that my perspective needs to change. Maybe that's why God put that person in my life - to teach me true "agape" love. :)

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    1. Esther thank you SO much for your comment. I agree with you that this focus change is valuable for any relationship. You really brought the point home when you said we especially need to change our perspective in the relathionships where we feel like we're not gaining anything. That's very convicting to me. Because that's where my heart is clearly seen. May God bless you with this desire, and help your life to continue to bring glory to His name.

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    2. Elanee,
      I don't really know you at all but thanks for writing this! I agree with what you said and this has motivated me too start loving others how I want to be loved without expecting anything in return. It's so easy to expect people to love you like that without realizing that, maybe even unintentionally, you aren't loving them like you should. This has given me a little bit of a new perspective on how to love a little more like Jesus loved us! :) Thanks again and sorry if what I wrote doesn't make a ton of sence. -Cosette

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  5. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and encouragement Elanee! I've been dwelling on this all day long, and have been convicted and challenged to evaluate my every day life and actions in light of truly loving others as I would like to be loved. I know my life would be completely different if I truly thought of others above and beyond myself, and sought to love and serve others in everything I said and do. I'm so thankful that we not only have an example in Jesus Christ's life of complete love and service towards others, but we also have the Holy spirit in our hearts working to mold us into His image! The thought of living a selfless life is quite daunting without knowing that, but so encouraging to know that we are not alone in our journey of sanctification!! :-)

    Thanks again Elanee for this post! You have a gift of writing such challenging yet encouraging posts! Thanks for your example of selfless love and service to others! You are a blessing!

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